Sorry.... I have to find my self.

I am still here.   Just bought a place.    Waiting for the stars to align.

Closed Doors ....

They say when a door closes ... another window opens.   meaning, you may think that its "bad" when something is taken away from you, like a lost job, or a missed opportunity ... others tell us to look around the corner ... after the window of opportunity opens, had the door not closed, you might not have made the same choices!

Am here by choice, or did the window of opportunity simply lead me to my current destination, and my existing situation?

....And the journey continues.

Blogging

Im not a blogger.  Im don't have a particular flair for writing.  I don't even have an interest to entertain anyone with my antics or stories.  blogging for me -- well -- its simple.  to just jot down my thoughts.  record my lists.  attempt to be accountable to myself because God knows i dont have m   any people i am accountable to nowadays for my actions and decisions.

so ... whether anyone happens to find this blog.  well -- i will leave that up to the fates.  the stars.  ha.  maybe some fellow nutcase will search for something i am writing about and get a good laugh.

so ... today i committed to myself to write down some goals for 2013.  its a couple months off yet thank god, right?   i've already jotted down a few on a pad on the counter.  so i think thats pretty darn good.

lying in bed last night.  i decided that i would come up with goals that are kinda general.  so that i could chip away at them with smaller achievable goals.  so far, i have:  HEALTH,  TRAVEL,  COOKING,  PROJECTS.   Those are the things that are personal and important to me "inside" - like inside my soul...  Then, there are some serious things that i need to work on that arent so nice to think about.  Actually  much more difficult to think about.   Those are the things that make me almost feel like my skin is crawling.  or i want to cry or run away and hide.   those are the things that are not so easy to just walk around my house and have them pop in my head "oh, lets write that down" ...   they are the ones that i am afraid if i write them down ... i might fail if i dont even achieve even a little bit of progress.  or i feel so overwhelmed i dont know where to start.   well.  at least i know they are lurking in my head like a stalker, ready to come out when i let them.

...maybe tomorrow....

Goal Setting Day

Day 2.  Goal Setting.

1st.  Review Day -1.   Review Achievements.  Ok.   Well.   I logged in again.  yay!  :)   Not even in DOG YEARS ..  huh?  yeah!  

2nd.   Learned a lot.  well .. a little more about blog design for today.  Added "person can make a comment" .. LOOK OUT WORLD.   *secretly wondering who will even FIND my blog*

3rd.   Goals...  small achievable goals.  Im a simple gal (not really) -- but I want to try to keep this simple as possible.  so.  yesterday's goal -- log in again.  hey.  you think thats not a huge goal?  well, for some, maybe no.  for me -- dog years probably isnt so far off....  but today -- i think a second day looking at myself is an achievement in itself.     so, what do i set for tomorrow?  thinking really huge... gigantic.  hm.  *long pause of thought*   ok.  multi-faceted (that's the huge part) 1. i will log in again tomorrow.  and 2.  i will have a list of things i want to complete in 2013 (with no plan yet -- cuz that will make me run.... hide .... can u say MIA???)

lights off.  time to go.... until tomorrow.  :)

The Competition ...

Day 1.     The challenge:   Self-Change.  Self-Improvement.   Increase Self-POSITIVENESS (i know .. is that even a word??)

Goals.  Objectives.

Blog.  Check.   Objective -- to record goals, record accomplishments, fallen moments and great moments over coming obstacles....

Risk:    Nobody / Nothing to force / push me to the next goal / next steps.

Risk:    No accountability.   Unless someone actually reads this blog and gives me support or feedback ... hmmm...  who knows, right?   there's always ME?   or MYSELF...  hehe.

Mitigation:   Thought ... create a reward system for logging in each day / week ... ???   hmm.  need to thing about this.

TOMORROWS GOAL:   RECORD SOME GOALS.

* note*  tomorrow may be in dog years.....